星期三, 5月 4

A Confession To Make...

"If I have a million dollars, I can buy an estate.
But do I have a million dollars? No.
So, I still don't have an estate.

If I have wings, I can fly to anywhere I feel like.
But do I have wings? No.
So, I am unable to fly.

If I can pour out all the water from the seas of the Pacific Ocean, and not douse the fire of love I have for you.
But can the water of the Pacific Ocean be poured out? No.
So, I don't love you."

Excerpt from "My First Intimate Contact"

Under the kind recommendation of a friend, I went to read with much interest an online novel that depicts an internet love story which all began with the above quote. Basically, the story talks about how a "normal" guy got acquainted with this girl who was interested in the quote he wrote and how he attempted to get to know the girl better.

In many ways, I can relate to the male character as he laments about how his "chronic" singlehood is a result of his much-prized chivalry and moral values. As best described by his budding friend in the novel, who is a lady-killer and have women throwing themselves at him, a "good" man is not to be loved by a woman, only a "bad" man does. I guess he meant that women look for romance in a relationship, which a "good" man cannot offer, and then comes the entrance of the "bad" man.

Having a fantasy is not really bad, but reality is often far from the way we want it to be. How often can we run along the shores of the beach without getting our feet cut by the glass splinters scattered all over. Who does not get aching arms when carrying a 50++ kg weight and spinning in countless circles. You can call me hopeless in love, but I am just trying to be realistic. So, in the midst of reading, I figured out I have much to improve in the romance department. Guess I have to throw away all my "Confucius" and "Descartes" and pick up "100 Ways To Win A Woman's Heart" instead.

However, what specifically caught my undivided attention was a discourse between the male lead and his centre of attraction on the different Internet personalities. According to him, there are 3 kinds of such personalities.

The first kind will reveal his/her most strongest character. STRONGEST NOT = MAIN. Let me explain. In daily life, we have several characters in varying degrees and express ourselves according to what the situation demands of us, where our MAIN character comes in and supresses the rest. However, in the Internet, where our physical attributes transforms to numbers and alphabets, our STRONGEST, often secondary, character comes in.

The second personality is one where he/she becomes someone whom he/she "wishes" to be. These are several characters in this world and there is bound to be one which we like alot, but we don't possess. The Internet presents an opportunity for such people to become individuals whom they had always desired to be. For example, a usually solemn guy may become especially fluent and humorous and a shy and quiet girl may metamorphosize into a talkative and lively person.

The thrid kind of Internet personality is one who tries to become a person who he/she is impossible to be in reality. God is the director of life where our role is already being chosen for us. However, in the Internet world, there is seemingly no God and you are your own director. Take for instance, guys who pretend to be girls or people in their 50s trying to act as if in their 20s.

The first personality is the truthiest to themselves. What they are showing are part of themselves and not a rip-off from other people. They may also learn of their hidden strengths where, for instance, realise they are good writers after blogging or find out that they are thick-sknned after heated arguments in discussion boards.

On the other hand, the second kind of personality is relatively ignorant. They admire the qualities of others so much that they forgot to look at their own strengths. If you are a lemon, try to like the sourness and not attempt to become sweet like a honey dew.

Having said this, I have to confess I belong to the second personality. I am not handsome nor ugly, not too tall or short, personality not too bad or good, so you can say I'm normal. In a bid to fight off this "normalness", I tried to become someone whom I think will be better, but not someone who I really am. And in that process, find someone to fall into the bait.

Sometimes, even I shudder to think why I am doing this. Is it a desperate measure to get attached or just a reaction to my insufficiencies? I have no idea. But, what i learnt after reading the novel (I shall not reveal the ending) is that learning to become yourself is not too bad after all.

I strongly recommend those with good Chinese background to go take a glimpse of this great piece of literature. Click here to access.

So, after reading all these, where do YOU belong?

星期五, 4月 15

The Plausibility of A Fairytale



Fairytale - A made-up story, usually designed to mislead
Webster Dictionary

I recently watched a touching MTV by Guang Liang named Fairytale. I first came into contact with this song when I was first looking for songs to download online but my first impression of it wasn't very good. However, by a twist of fate, I felt compelled to watch the music video as one of my online chat-mate, a female, commented that she cried when she watched it. Upon watching it, the theme of the song touched into the deepest end of my heart - FAIRYTALE.

Fairy tales have become a part of our image of what romance in a relationship is supposed to be like. Countless love dramas have perpertuated the idea of a "perfect" romance where the couple can seemingly overcome all obstacles between them. This image usually not only deceives women, but also men.

On one hand, everyone knows that fairy-tale romances are make believe and seemingly impossible to see in reality. On the other hand, fairy tales inspire us to believe in happy love stories. For this fact alone, they have given us something we need for building our own love affair: HOPE.

Some people think that fairy tales create a false image for a real partner to live up to. The next time you read a fairy tale about a love affair, look to see the characteristics that form the foundation of these stories. What you will find are characteristics such as the following:

Looking for unconditional love
Wanting to be loved by someone
Seeking understanding
Looking to be accepted by another

These stories also show that life is happier with someone as opposed to being without someone. What they show is the humanness in having a mate. People innately gravitate to others for a sense of completeness. We are relational beings, with a need to relate to others. In a fairy tale, these themes are conveyed simply in a fantastical setting. In fact, fairy tales serve as wonderful models to use when deciding on what you want in your relationship.

How can we make romance just as magical as it is in the fairy tales? All you have to do is create your own love story - the greatest love story ever known. This means cherishing the one you love as though he were a prince or she were a princess. It means making your relationship a priority by including romance as one of its basic ingredients. An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but a kiss a day keeps others away.